I sometimes come across things that I’ve written and forgotten about. Today while moving my office about into a new location and sort through odd scraps and notebooks, I came across something I had jotted down quite quickly over a year ago. I didn’t date it, which is odd, because I usually tend to do so. And I honestly don’t recall writing it. However, this tends to be the case when I find some of my jottings here and there. Sometimes I wouldn’t have even believed they are my writings if it hadn’t seen it in my own handwriting.
When I found this, it was not complete. So, rather than finishing, or rather continuing, my office cleaning, I decided to do a bit of refining and finish the abandoned writing. Oddly, it didn’t even really have an ending. I had just faded off with an incomplete sentence.
I can’t say that it is a poem as most of the stuff I write is more of a rambling of thoughts thrown into somewhat coherent sentences that create odd paragraphs and non-paragraphs. Perhaps some day I’ll come up with some quirky term in which to label them. Until then, I guess they are just mind~full messages that happened to leak into written words.
But either way. Here it is:
The words we’ve seen, yet have not seen within us, becoming deep seeded, buried deep enough to take root.
To be rooted far into the memory bank and emotions.
But what would it become or take to plant deeper? Too deep to take root.
Not enough sun or oxygen to thrive, but to become a nutrient for something more profound.
Nourishment for soulful growth, an ember to place faith, to create heat in the heart, burn the despair of lasting hurts we are done with and need extinguished within the soil of human conviction; to survive, renew, enliven, break forth into a new peace. A new place.
Peacefulness can then reside in the depth of where the changed seed and soil lay.
It will not conjure up bitterness. Sweetness of soil permeates, bringing forth the larger fruit, deep within the ground of perfect enlightenment, forging ahead newness, refreshed with rain when it meets the sky once again, the sun once again, perfect peace.
unblemished memories remain upheld. Forward progress, the seed no longer returning to its former self. What once was sad, horrific, bitter, illuminates life, perfects life, emits eternal life and freedom from the wariness of its return.
Plunged deep beyond the chasms of thought, it no longer finds, no longer relates to, it is change beyond recognition of a former life.
Its affects on any life buried into recesses, protected from unfolding and unfurling into ugly growth, an abscess. An abyss of faltering and falling to previous habits, lifestyle, unwillingness. Thriving now only to nourish positive growth, thought processes, powerful ingenuity.
Equipped with the permanence to evolve, move, shake from the earth. Shaken as to remove forth, but, by faith, remains intact. Faith in self, faith in God, belief and knowledge of better things, beyond imagination, yet real, concrete in substance. No longer seeded but now living. A found place, a home.
Pouring of rain sets it deeper beyond the original seed, enveloping, crushing, intertwining until it soaks in, becomes the good, the renewed. Changes face, smiles, crushed to granules, no longer belonging to itself.
Creating, believing its own development into positive forces. Diminishing to a grain of a sand within a sinew of deeper roots, soothing, understanding, provocative, pleasing sweet surrender.
Success, hope, despair relieved, no more rotation required, of the earth to the earth, but no longer needing the earth. It just remains. The earthly flow of life. Sustaining the breadth and scope of it, for it and with it. Entrenched in conviction, self love. A right, new exuberant seed to share and sow elsewhere.